You are here: Sri Vaishnava Home Page : Bhakti List : Archives : September 1999

PART I: SwAmi's Anguish -Posting - 3 (1.7 to 1.9)
Date: Thu Sep 23 1999 - 06:17:47 PDT

(As gleaned from his StOtras) 

Anguish -Posting - 3 (1.7 to 1.9)
(Anbil Ramaswamy)
[As already mentioned in the Introduction, the NaichyAnusanthAnam is 
applicable to us only and NOT to Swami Desika, we have to substitute 
ourselves wherever Swami Desika extrapolates these to himself] 
1.7. "I am like the Kulinga bird"

mA sAhasOkthi ghana kanchuka vanchithAnya:
pasyathsu thEshu vidadhAm ytahi sAhasAni /
padmA sahAya karunE na runathsi kim tvam
ghOram kulinga sakunEriva chEshtitham mE //
(DayA Sathakam SlOkam 94)

" I am advising others not to do anything that is repugnant to the sAstras. 
While advising others, what do I do? Even when they are watching me, I 
indulge unabashedly to commit precisely what I have forbidden them from 
doing. Is it not a foolhardy act? Hiding under the cloak of being a teacher, 
I treacherously and deceitfully walk the same forbidden path. This is like 
the behavior of the infamous kulinga bird that advises other birds not to 
indulge in activities beyond their capacity. But, after having warned other 
birds, it enters the jaws of the lion when it yawns to pick the piece of meat 
stuck in its teeth. Thus, my word and deed are divorced from each other. Is 
it not your responsibility to prevent me from doing this? What are you 
waiting for?"

Cf Manavaala Maamuni's Aarti Prabhandam

1.8. "I am like a rogue elephant"

drishtEpi durbhaladhiyam dhamanEpi drutham
snAthvApi dhooLee rasikam bhajanEpi bheemam /
bhaddhvA gruhANa vrisha saila pathEr dayE mAm
tvad vAraNam swayam anugraha srunkhalApi //
(DayA Sathakam SlOkam 99)

"Oh! DayA Devi!
Sometimes, an elephant would get into rut, when it becomes extremely 
mischievous and uncontrollable. It would reject the food placed before it. 
With pride and insolence, it would ignore the beatings and goad prickles 
inflicted by the mahout. It would shower itself with dirty mud and soil its 
body just made clean by a refreshing bath. It would dangerously pose itself 
threatening to harm the very mahout who feeds it with love, affection and 
comforting words. The only way to subdue it is to tie it with strong iron 
chains. I am steeped in ego and self conceit like this rogue elephant. I 
ignore punishments inflicted on me as also the sage advice of elders- all due 
to my Karma vasanas. I continue to relish sins. In fact, I scare away my 
benefactors with harsh words. Unless you bind me with hard chains of your 
grace and subdue me, I think I have no hope of redemption.

There is a pun on the word 'VaraNam"- which means 'Elephant' and 
'Preventing'. It conveys how the 'elephant' thwarts the attempts of the 
mahout to 'prevent' it from doing harm and in his own case, how his sins 
'prevent' Lord's mercy from flowing towards him.

1.9. "Why am I ruined by fax paus?"

sakutapi vinathAnAm sarvadE sarvadEhini
upanishadhabhidhEyE bhAghadEyE vidhEyE /
viramathi na kadhAchit mOhatO hA hathOham
vishma vishaya chinthAmEdhura mE durAsA //
(NyAsa Thilakam SlOkam 23)

"Thiruvaranga PerumAn grants all that one desires, once one surrenders to 
him; Being the indweller (AntharyAmi) he is always near; Upanishada declare 
that he protects all; his form is the very personification of the good 
fortune of all. Because he is all mercy, he fulfills all that his devotees 
desire. In spite of all these, an ruining myself with thoughts of perverse 
worldly pleasures and without any thought of surrendering to him"

Swami repeats these very words in Sankalpa SooryOdaya SlOka 44. Purusha 
entertains fear even after the victory of the righteous forces of Viveka over 
the evil forces of MahAmOha.

Swami implies that till one attains Moksha, one cannot afford to be 
complacent because we do not know when, where and on what we may trip into a 
faux pas.  We see Nammazhwar, expressing similar sentiments in the 
"UlagamunDa paruvAyA' Pasurams (TVM-6.10 and also in 7.1) where he says how 
he is scared of the onslaughts of Indriyas even after surrendering to Lord 

(To Continue)