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[sv-rituals] please help....

From the Bhakti List Archives

Deepak Vinod • August 12, 2002 


 

 

Dear respected Vaishnavas and Bhaktas;

 

I am in desperate need of some advise.   I am incapable of deciding 

what is 

it that I am supposed to do in this great predicament I am in.

 

By the mercy of the lord, I have been given a chance and permission 

to 

worship Sri Saligram bhagwan.  And we all know that in order to 

worship Sri 

Saligram, the environment in which ones lives in and one himself, 

must be 

really pure.

 

I live at home with my parents.  Serving my parents has always been 

important for me as I am their only child.   Basically, the 

environment in 

which I live in, in my opinion, is not ideal for the worshipping of 

Sri 

Bhagwan.  And it really hurts that I am not doing anything to 

rectify that 

as in order to do so I would have to either leave home or ask my 

parents to 

bring changes to their diet.

 

So that is what I did.  I attempted to explain  the importance of 

maintaining a sattvic diet.   I didn't have any luck.  I do also 

admit to 

all respected bhaktas that I am also incapable of holding back my 

feelings 

and have a tendency to get angry.  Yes, I do admit it...I do get 

angry and say 

harsh things that I regret.  ( And I realise most of my weaknesses 

and its 

main root, that is lack of humility and false ego).  So I did get 

angry 

towards my parents.

 

In short, in my attempt to create a shuddha environment around the 

house, 

and in order to please Sri Bhagwan, I caused a lot of hurt to my 

family.  I 

became the source of hurt for everyone in my family, to an extent 

that they 

have prepared to disown me.

 

I did not ever want to be the source of pain and hurt for anyone, 

let alone 

my parents and family. But I have.

 

 

Your Insignificant servant