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nAcciyAr tirumozhi XI - tAm ugakkum 1

From: Kalyani Krishnamachari (kkrishnamachari_at_yahoo.com)
Date: Mon May 01 2000 - 20:36:29 PDT

                                                      
                         SrI:
      SrI ANDAL samEta SrI rangamannAr tiruvaDigaLE
SaraNam

General Introduction to nAcciyAr tirumozhi XI  - tAm
ugakkum.

ANDAL had rested her hopes of attaining Him on two
counts:  (1) kumaranAr Sol (10-4), and (2) the
SaraNAgati that she has performed through her guru and
father, periAzhvAr.  Time passes; no sign of kaNNan
and her longing for Him increases.  She becomes
depressed and suffers from sickness of separation from
Him.  Everything around her uninterruptedly reminds
her of emperumAn, and 
she is being hurt by everything like bhIshmA was hurt
by arjuna痴 arrows in the mahAbhArata war.  All the
mothers in the neighboring households and her friends
throng around her to find out exactly what is
bothering her. She tells them about the pitiful plight
her emperumAN has left her in.  It is the same
emperumAn who spent sleepless nights and starved
without taking food when He had been separated from
sItA pirATTi, and the same emperumAn who rescued
rukmiNi from SiSupAlan.  She declares to them that she
firmly believes that He will not let her down, and she
will still patiently wait for Him and will hold on to
her life, because He had unfailingly helped others
like her before.

pASuram 11.1(eleventh tirumozhi - pAsuram 1 tAm
ugakkum)

en Sa地gu vaLaigaLai arangar kavarndu pOnArE

tAm ugakkum tam kaiyil Sa地gamE pOlAvO
 yAm ugakkum em kaiyil Sa地gamum EndizhaiyIr
tI mugattu nAgaNai mEl SErum tiru ara地gar
 A! mugattai nOkkArAl ammanE! AmmanE!

A. Meaning from SrImAn SaDagOpan's tamizh treatise:

徹h my friends, who are adorned with jewelry! Aren稚
the bangles that I used to wear in my hands as
important to me as the Sa地kham that He is wearing in
His hand is for emperumAN? Then, why is it that He
takes away my bangles  (i.e., I keep pining for Him
and my hands are becoming thinner and thinner, and the
bangles keep slipping out)?  By comparison, His
Sa地kham never leaves His hand. Maybe He thinks that
it is enough if His Sa地kham stays put in His hand,
and it doesn稚 matter if I loose my bangles (Sa地gam
in tamizh also means bracelet).  Alas! Alas! That tiru
ara地gan, who is lying on the fierce-looking,
fire-spitting anantAzhvAn, is not even looking at my
face.

B. Additional thoughts from SrI PVP:  

tAm ugakkum tam kaiyil Sa地gamE pOlAvO yAm ugakkum em
kaiyil Sa地gamum:  Just as He is fond of the Sa地kham
that He has in His hand, I also am fond of the Sa地khu
vaLai (bangle) that I am wearing in my hand.  If He
takes away my Sa地khu vaLai, shouldn稚 He give me His
Sa地kham?  If He says, 添ou are a paratantrai; I am a
svatantran; you shall obey what I ordain, but you
cannot force me, that does not sound right because He
would be saying that without knowing my pining for Him
and thus my weakness.  If His response is: 的 shall
not give anything I have in My hand; and I shall
snatch away what others have in their hand, that
would be unacceptable because it is not fair.  If His
response is: 展e men will do anything we want because
it is purusha svabhAvam, and you women should just
keep quiet like women and watch, I can say that I
know how to make Him bend by doing 杜aDal Urdal etc.
To my question  展hy do you refuse to give me my vaLai
that you have in your hand, if He says 釘ecause I
like it, then can稚 I ask: 屠ust like that, I am also
fond of the Sa地kham that you have in your hand;  So
give that to me?   If He responds: 的 am fond of my
pAncajanyam; how can I give it to you?, gOdai痴
response would be: 鍍hat was not meant for you; all
your divya astrams were meant for your devotees.
(渡a tE rUpam na cAkArO na AyudhAni na cAspadam 
jitantE 1- 5)

This phrase can also be looked at in a slightly
different way, with the 鍍Am and 土Am interchanged,
which results in a new anubhavam by SrI PVP:   tAm
ugakkum em kaiyil Sa地khamE pOlAvO yAm ugakkum tam
kaiyyil Sa地khamum.   EmperumAn seems to take the
position that He will not give up the Sa地kham that is
in His hand that is dear to ANDAL, nor will He will
give back the Sa地kham that is ANDAL痴 hands that are
dear to Him. If it is fair that those who like
something should get it, just as you have my kai vaLai
(bangle), your kai Sa地kham must come to my hand.  If
it is fair that each owner should keep what they own,
my kai vaLai must stay with me.  The only way these
two conditions can simultaneously be fulfilled is if
we are united (samSlesham). That is the parama
tAtparyam conveyed in these words by ANDAL.

砺eLLai viLi Sa地khu iDankaiyyil koNDa vimalan (NT
5-2), so saying gOdai aspired for only one of His
AbharaNa-s, namely the Sa地kham;  Just because of
this, He took away all her vaLaigaL in toto - 鍍An
koNDa sari vaLaigaL (NT 8-5).  He did not leave me
even one vaLai for me to wear in the memory that it is
dear to Him; He took everything. If it be asked of
ANDAL: 展hy can稚 you desire all His Sa地khams instead
of only one? the truth is that just as there is only
one ISvaran, there is only one Sa地kham that is
unmatched by any other Sa地kham.  

Sa地kham is an Ayudham in His hand; why did godai want
the weapon of all the things that He possesses?  It is
because she does not see it as a weapon in His hand. 
Just as the bangles in her hand are jewelry for her
who is the best among women (nArINAm uttamA vadhUh),
she sees the Sa地kham in emperumAn痴 Hand as the
AbharaNam for the purushottaman.  So, there is nothing
wrong in desiring that.

EndizhaiyIr: ANDAL is addressing the other womenfolk
around her as 土ou who are all wearing lots of
jewelry.  For her who is without any jewelry because
of her separation from Him, it is surprising that
there are those who can manage to keep their jewelry
still on themselves unlike her.  It is as if these are
people who have managed to escape from praLayam!  

SrI PVP refers to a similar state in which rAma finds
Himself when He loses sItA pirATTi in the forest.   In
that state, Lord rAma痴 thoughts are on how come
rAvaNa left alone the mates of the male peacocks,
since the peacocks were dancing together with their
mates merrily. 

杜ayUrasya vanE nUnam rakshasA na h*rdA priyA |
  tasmAn n*rtyati ramyEshu vanEshu saha kAntayA || 
(rAmAyaNam kishkihnDa kANDam 1-40)

tI mugattu:  SrI PVP痴 anubhavam is that ANDAL is
using 鍍I mugattu to refer to Adi Seshan in a
reprimanding tone.  She feels:  鄭diSEshan knows my
situation; yet, he is giving his body to serve as bed
for Him.  AdiSeshan  might not know the pangs of
separation, but he knows the taste of being with Him.
Knowing that, he will also know what it means to be
separated from Him.  Given this, why is He giving his
body to my emperumAn when He has chosen to be
separated from me?  Just as she referred to her own
father earlier as 鍍angaL devarai (since periAzhvAr
had a great relation with Him while she was having her
difficulties with Him), she is now referring to tiru
anantAzhvAn as 鍍I mukham, because he is not helping
her to get her emperumAn and instead he is
establishing a relationship with Him for himself.  

tImugattu: instead of  feeling sorry for people
suffering like me and showing compassion, this nAgaNai
is having a face that looks like it is spewing out
fire.

sErum tiru arangar:   It looks like emperumAn is
having His association with tiru anantAzhvAn just to
get instruction and training on how to be fierce,
rude, uncompassionate, etc.  Or, it can mean that when
this tiru arangan goes to sleep on His bed, no other
Ayudam is needed but this tiru anantAzhvAn who has
faces spewing out fire.   EmperumAn is ensuring that
people like me who are out of His favor keep away from
Him and do not approach Him, by associating Himself 
with this bed of fire-spewing tiru anantAzhvAn.  Even
if people manage to approach him, He will destroy
those whom He does not like -  兎ynda paNak kadir mEl
vevvuyirppa  vAynda madu kaiDavarum vayiRu urugi
mANDAr (mUnRam triuvandAdi 66)  He was lying on
AdiSeshan, who is adorned with the lustrous pearls,
and when madhu and kaiTabha approached Him, He
breathed out a long breath, and with that their very
guts burned out completely, and they died
instantaneously.

sErum:    This aranganAthar痴 behavior is just
opposite to what is a normal behavior in this world. 
This bed was meant be for Him and me, who is His
nAyaki.  And, He is lying there without me!

tiru arangar:  He came to tiru ara地gam from
SrIvaikunTham to help bhaktas in distress. But after
coming here, He forgot all that and is lying on tiru
anantAzhvAn, falling in love with the softness and
cool fragrance of the bed and is sleeping!  It would
have been okay if He did not help me when He was far
away in parama padam, but it is inexcusable that He
comes to tiruara地gam and then keeps ignoring me.

Amugattu :  Alas!  I am done!  One can bear if a
nAyakan forgoes his love for his nAyaki in separation.
But, should He forego kaN nOkkam (looking at me)? Or
His karuNai (compassion)?

ammanE ammanE:  This word depicts fear. ANDAL痴
thoughts seem to be:  泥uring separation, when I think
of Him, it should be a sweet thought.  Now He does not
even look at my face, and I am afraid to look at His
face.   It has come to the situation where now I get
fear at His thought as if I have seen a snake or a
tiger.  Alas! How was He then, and how He is today!

鄭t least bhIshma could breathe his last by thinking
of hari in the last moment, just as all yogi-s
successfully get His thought in their last moment. 
Even this may be only for the male folk like bhIshma,
and not for womenfolk like me.  I may not be able to
think of His face even at my last moment.

C. Additional thoughts from SrI PBA:

EndizhaiyIr:  Instead of addressing her friends as 溺y
dear friends!, 鄭ll of you girls around me!, etc.,
she is addressing them as 添ou who are able to hold on
to your ornaments unlike me!, wondering aloud how
they are able to keep themselves in that shape without
feeling the separation from Him.  

mugattai nOkkArAl:  Even if He does not embrace me
tightly, can稚 He at least look at my face?  What have
I done that I don稚 even deserve that much from Him?

D. Additional thoughts from SrI UV: 

Sa地kham: Sa地khu/conch or kai vaLai/bangle. gOdai
wants to show that what is in her hand is equal to
what is in emperumAn痴 hand; so, instead of choosing
different terms to refer His Sankham and to her
ornaments (e.g., as tiruvAzhi and bangles),  she
chooses  the same word 鉄a地kham to denote the
pA地cajanyam in His hand and the bangles in her hand. 
Both have sweet sounds to them.  

EndizhaiyIr:  摘ven though I have lost my bangles
because of my longing for Him, at least you all hold
on to your bangles and don稚 lose them because of your
worry over me.  How sad it is that I have become the
object of your deep concern and worry. 

Sa地khamE pOlAvO:  Those who don稚 normally wear
jewelry but make their weapons look like jewelry know
the importance of the AbharaNa-s.  In this case, can稚
this emperumAn at least treat my bangles as important
as His Sa地kham?

tI mugattu:  On the one hand, I am here with my whole
self scorched by viraha tApam, and He does not feel
like even looking at my face because it is scorched by
this fire.  On the other hand, He is lying on this
AdiSeshan who has a thousand faces spiting scorching
fire.  This does not seem consistent.  If He comes and
takes one look at my face, all the scorching on my
face will go away. 

If it be said that He is attached to AdiSeshan because
he is protecting Him, then by reverse logic, emperumAn
should be attached to me because I need His
protection.    

Will you go to tiru ara地gam and tell Him that it is
only fair that He takes me to Him on this nAgaNai? Or,
will you at least take away His Sa地kham and bring it
to me ? 

But then again, with the fire-spitting faces of tiru
anantAzhvAn, no one can go near Him, no one can convey
my suffering to Him, and no one can bring me His
pA地cajanyam.    Thus we are at a stalemate, where He
won稚 look at my face, and no one else will look at
His face to tell Him of my agony.  AdiSeshan is
supposed to spit fire from his face only during the
praLaya kAlam to destroy the whole world, but it looks
like tiru ara地gan痴 nAgaNai mugattI has been created
for destroying me right now! Alas! Alas ! (ammanE!
ammanE!)


Abbreviations:
------------------
PVP= SrI periyavAccAn piLLai
PBA= SrI prativAdi bhayankaram aNNangarAcAriyAr
UV  = SrI uttamUr vIrarAghavAcAriyAr

sarvam SrIman nArAyaNAyeti samarpayAmi.

adiyEn,
kalyANi kRshNamAcAri




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