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Thiruvvaimozhi 4.4- My girl is going CRAZEE after Sriman NarayaNan!

From: Madhavakkannan V (
Date: Mon Mar 23 1998 - 23:21:29 PST


Dearest Sisters and Brothers,

NammAzhwAr enjoyed narrating Emperumaan’s love towards Him in his last 
decad. Emperumaan thought, this way, if it goes on increasing, the love 
for the Lord may even spoil his health and hence, decided to stay out of 
AzhwAr’s scene for some time. Immediately our AzhwAr again, has started 
suffering from pangs of separation and  the Viragha thaapam. In this 
decad of Thiruvaaimozhi 4.4, he again enters into the Piraatti role and 
languishes heavily. Whatever he sees, in all things, he connects to 
Emperumaan. He sees everything as Him and Him only and suffers heavily 
longing for Him. And Parangusa Nayaki’s mother suffers looking at her 
daughter’s pains of separation. 

1.  She, my girl, is sitting on the sands and is taking the sands from 
the ground in her handful- claiming those sands were all dropped from 
His Feet, when He took TrivikaramAvathAram. Due to Viragha thaapam, she 
feels as if she is touching His Feet by touching the sands on the earth. 
She look at the sky and pays obeisance to it. She tries to say that 
there His Parama Padham exists in the sky but unable to even utter any 
words due to her exertion of separation. She only shows with her finger. 
After showing the sky, she is so much remorse with tears, crying heavily 
whether she will totally lose her enjoyment of seeing His Beautiful 
form. She looks at the Blue sky and shouts "kadal VaNNA!" (The one of 
Blue hued colour of the sea!). The One who made my daughter so much 
crazy- How will I make Him come here and How will she recover at all!.

2.  I am not able to understand my daughter’s actions. The so much 
beautiful daughter of mine is even unable to utter NarayaNA and wiping 
her continuos outpouring of  tears from her big, dark eyes. Finally she 
manages to say amidst her sobs "narayaNA!" and exerts herself. She is 
standing like an orphan in front of me (her mother). She is calling 
Emperumaan as kadal VaNNan and languishes thinking of His dark, blue 
hued Beautiful colour. Her bangles automatically fall off her hands (due 
to her thinning down from languishing). She imagines the sea waves’ 
noises and says that is the ocean where NarayaNA is lying down. When the 
sun dawns in the morning, she gets so much excited and shouts Hey! There 
is Emperumaan Sridharan’s Beautiful Thirumugha maNdalam (face). I simply 
do not know what to do with her.

3.  Everyone (including the kid, if cautioned) knows that the fire can 
not be touched and will burn the body. My crazy, mad girl is almost 
touching the fire and says" AchuthA!" But nothing happens to her body.  
(SubrahmaNya Bharathi says " TheekuL viralai vaitthaal, NandalaalA! 
Unnai theeNdum inbham thOnrudhaiyA NandalaalA- When I put my finger 
inside the fire, it gives me a feeling of touching You, NandalaalA- he 
is also a Great poet). She hugs the cool chill breeze and says "My dear 
GovindhA!". Her body is smelling with such Great Fragrance like 
ParimaLam and ThuLasi leaves. Even when she laments for Emperumaan 
Sriman NarayaNan she smells so much divine; But, the MahApaapi, I am, 
suffering and unable to solve her pangs of pains. Her sufferings are 
countless; Her crazy actions are so many. I have lost count.

4.  My daughter, when she looks at the Full Moon, she gets so excited 
and shouts "NarayaNA!- The Most shining Lord of mine!". When she looks 
at the Big mountain, she calls the mountain "NedumAlE!, Please come to 
me!". When it rains she yells "hey! NarayaNan has come" and jumps with 
joy. My sweet, lovely Beautiful daughter- why does He trouble her like 
this? What can I do?.

5.  When she hugs the healthy cute calves, she is so happy and tells 
these calves were the ones taken care by KaNNan. My God! She literally 
touches the running snake and says that is AdhsEshan and His bed. (It 
will bite, kaNNE!- how to explain her, Lord!). I do not know what all 
she is going to do and how am I take full care of her safety. He has 
deceived her and allured her for being so much crazy after Him- Maayavan 
is He. Look, How does she dance so vigorously longing for NarayanA!
6.  When she sees the street dancers, she runs behind them as says 
"Govindhan is dancing". When she listens to the flute anywhere, she gets 
into ecstasy and says "ahA! Kannan is playing flute!" and she gets into 
the trance. When she someone carrying butter, she gets excited and says 
this veNNai (butter) was eaten by my KaNNan and grabs it. Her madness 
after KaNNan is beyond narration and is not proper to tell in public 

7.  When she is totally maddened by His thought, she tells all these 
worlds were created by KrishNan only. When she sees someone with even 
vubhUthi marks on their faces, vertically (Oordhva PuNdram) she calls 
them as BhAgawathAs  of Sriman NarayaNA and runs behind them. When she 
looks at fragrant thuLasi leaves, she gets into ecstasy.  She, (even 
when she is clear and when she is NOT clear in her words as well ) 
always keeps talking  about Emperumaan’s kalYANa guNAs. 

8.  When she hears or sees the good kings without any blemishes, she 
says "I have seen the Sriya: Pathi Sriman NarayaNan". When she looks at 
the beautiful flowers, she yells, it is due to His Feet’s divine touch 
as Trivikraman. Wherever she sees any temple or any statue, she calls 
all of them as Emperumaan Kadal VaNNan’s temples. She also shouts 
adamantly that the idol is her Lord SarvEshwaran NarayNan only. When she 
is normal and is conscious of the surroundings and when she is in a 
trance and unclear as well, she longs only for Sri KrishNan’s Lotus Feet 
alone. (there is also an interesting ithIhyam about this mistaken 
identity of kings as Sriman NarayaNan by Srimad NathamunigaL- Once when 
he saw chOlA king stepping on the head of his servant and climbed on his 
elephant, Srimad Nathamuni went into ecstasy and prostrated thinking 
that he is Sriman NarayaNan who stepped on BrahmA’s head and boarded 
GarudA. Also on another occasion,  when he saw a king with his queen, 
minister, and the servant, he went behind them calling them as PerumAL. 
SitAPiraatti, Ilaya PerumAL and AnjanEYA. What an anubhavam! They are 
BhAgawathAs; they are great devotees!)

9.  When may daughter sees the sannyaasis, she gets so excited and says 
"Emperumaan is here and He is the One who ate everything and the entire 
world!". When she looks at the dark, rainy clouds, she shouts "KaNNA! 
Please come fast" and tries to fly to the clouds and raise her hands 
like feathers. She has literally gone crazee! She runs behind the group 
of cows telling that KaNNan will definitely be there. Oh Lord, what have 
You done to my girl for getting so mad after You! She is crying heavily! 
(There is yet another story about these dark clouds: At Chozha dEsam 
during RajEndra Chozhan perios, there was one Thiruvaayk kulatthAzhwAr 
(an ardent bhakthA of Sriman NarayaNA) who went to see the growth of his 
paddy fields during the rainy season., saw the dark rainy clouds and 
went into ecstasy thinking of Emperumaan’s Neela mEgha shyAmaLan’s 
colour and fainted. Someone who passec by lifted him in his arms and 
carried him to his home and scolded his people for allowing such an 
ardent bhakthA of NarayaNA to go out during the rainy season (may be 
that happens to him often!))

10.  My beautiful darling daughter has become so mad after Him and 
faints often thinking of Him always; She looks at everywhere without any 
clarity like mad person. She always sweats heavily! She is full of tears 
in her eyes and always sobs continuously. She sighs deeply and exerts 
herself calling "KaNNA! Please come to me fast!". Alas! What can I do 
now? I am not able to bear looking at my darling in this state. What 
mahA Paapam (great sin) have I committed for seeing all these sufferings 
of my darling daughter! (Similar to these feelings of dearest mother of 
Parangusa Nayaki, Sri Bhagavadh Ramanujar uttered the same words when he 
saw KooratthAzhwAn’s face with blinded eyes (due to ChoLA king who had 
ordered to pluck the eyes of KooratthAzhwAn and Periyanambhi and 
Periyanambi’s eyes were pierced and KUrEsar plucked his eyes by 
himself): "What Paapams have I committed for seeing KooratthAzhwAn’s 
blinded eyes!" - this is actually a comparison of Nampillai.)

11.  Sri SadagOpar sang 1000 pAsurams about his bhakthi for KaNNapiraan 
who removes all (irremovable) sins of even the highest order. Out of 
those 1000, readers of these 10 pAsurams, who consider them as the means 
to get rid of their sins and karmAs will definitely get their sins 
ridden of; They will ALSO reach Parama Padham, Sri Vaikuntam and stay 
there and obtain all praises from everybody here and Srivaikuntam as 

Graet set of pAsurams! What an outpour from AzhwAr! Enna MahAnubhavam! 

AzhwAr thiruvadigaLE saraNam     

Ram Ram

With Best Regards

NarayaNa dAsan madhavakkannan

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