Thiruvaaymozhi 8.5- Ghee in Milk- Emperumaan as antharyaami!

From the Bhakti List Archives

• July 24, 1998


Sri:

Dearest Sisters and Brothers,

AzhwAr's longing for seeing Emperumaan's Divinely Beautiful form keeps 
on increasing like the fire in the forest. AzhwAr cries and weeps, 
yelling for the Lord!

1. Oh Lord! The Wonderful Master! VaamanA! KaNNA! The leelA krishNA! My 
Chief! I will compare Your Beauty to the Lotus Pond only because Your 
eyes, hands, Feet are all so cute and lovely like that of fresh just 
bloomed Lotus petals. Your coral lips, that mouth is like the rose 
reddish Lotus bud in the middle. Dark, cool, Divya ThirumEni (divine 
body) is similar to the cool beautiful Lotus green leaf. Hene, I can 
tell that You are the most fragrant Lotus pond. (thaamaraith thadaakam). 
Such Beautiful Lord! At least only one day- You should come for me to 
see You.
 
2. My Master! When I see Your bright, shining beautiful Head (with long 
dark hairs), it appears like the Bright Black Sun rising on top of the 
Emerald mountain. I would love to see that Beauty of Yours, with my 
eyes. Due to that desire, I have been calling You many times; my lips, 
mouth have all been dried up; my anticipating eyes, keep on shedding 
tears and even that has been dried up; My feminine shyness have all been 
lost and I am suffering-longing and languishing in this world. Seeing my 
such a pitiable situation, will You not show mercy n me and appear at 
least one day (ONLY ONE DAY) for me to see You? aiyO! What will I do 
now?
 
3. Oh My Lord, who has the Brightest Beautiful Head with long dark 
hairs! Oh PerumaanE! The One who wears the most fragrant thuLasi maalai 
(garland)! - like that I have been repeatedly calling You so many times 
and since You do not at all come in front of me, I have been crying 
heavily. You- who is like the dark, (pure water laden) clouds-will You 
not appear in front of me with Your beautiful makarakundalangaL (long 
ear studs)- with Your coral bimbhA fruit like mouth- with Your four 
broad, huge shoulders, with Your waist string (thiru araijnAN)? Please 
appear to  relieve my sorrows.
 
4. My father! My EmperumaanE! You Divine thirumEni (Body) is like the 
clouds that bear the pure waters; Your such brightest, lovely form is 
tormenting me terribly. That curvy bimbhA fruit like red mouth- those 
eyes that are like the Honey dripping beautiful Lotus flower- have 
simply robbed my heart and have filled my mind entirely. The way You are 
sleeping on the Milk Ocean is like the Dark Black clouds spanned over 
the white Silvery mountain. Thus Your beauty is troubling me so much 
that I am NOT ABLE to even speak few words any more. 
 
5. Oh Lord! The One who retained the whole universe and protected the 
same during the PraLayam! You are so beautiful like the dark clouds! 
Your tow Lotus Feet are so lustrous that they appear like the two bright 
suns for me; They have stayed in my heart. Hence, How can I know their 
brightness and tell that in pAsuram? In order to forget the beauty of 
Yours which torments me so much, I need to get ignorance of Your beauty. 
If You do NOT wish to show Yourself to me, why don't You at least show 
me the way to get that anjnAnam (ignorance)? At least my sufferings will 
be over. (Narayana says: Simple- Be with Madhavakkannan for a minute. 
You will get that anjnAnam and run behind the worldly pleasures and 
materialistic fruits- Don't blame me if he gets changed with your 
presence, AzhwArE!)  (It is just that AzhwAr is vexed that Emperumaan is 
NOT appearing in front of him)
 
6. Oh Blue hued, cloudy coloured Lord! Oh Dancer! (kuda kkoothanE!) You 
are the eye for this lowly self, a great sinner! KaNNA! Chief and master 
of the whole world! - like that I have been addressing You. To take me, 
at least one day, You should come in any way, in any form whatsoever. I 
should see Your Lotus Feet and pay obeisance to Them. You can show 
Yourself to me at Paramapadham, or on the Earth, or in lying position on 
the Milk Ocean, or as my antharyaami in my heart. (at least in one way!) 
You should show Yourself to me, the One who is Your eternal servant!
 
7. My master! My ammaanE! What a Beauty You are! How can I say! I should 
say that You look like Black Sun. With those red cool Lotus flower like 
eyes, lips, hands, face, and the dark Divya ThirumEni, it appears like 
the black bright sun with its limitless, rays of light spanning 
everywhere. You are such an exquisitely bright beautiful form and You 
should come for me to see You here on this earth. Or show me Your Feet 
at Paramapadham and bless me to perform kaimkaryam to Your Feet for 
ever. (i.e. either You come here for me to see You or take me to Your 
place)
 
8. Whenever I see the cluster of dark clouds, I think of the similar 
dark form of Emperumaan's ThirumEni (Body) and feel highly elated with 
that thought. Immediately I also feel depressed for not having You with 
me. You drove the chariot during the kurukshEthra battle for Pancha  
paaNdavaas and destroyed the 100 kauravas effortlessly. Such a saviour 
of devotees,-You- how come YOU ARE NOT HERE TO save me? It is NOT 
appropriate of Your nature. Hence, You should show mercy and bless me to 
see Your face.

9. Is this the connection between You and me? I- who has been repeatedly 
calling You in different names and different ways- but You have not at 
all been coming. I have been crying- weeping, while calling You 
lovingly, as " Oh Lord, the One who has the ChakrAyudhA in His hand! Oh 
Lord, the One who has the GarudA as His flag! " etc.. Whatever amount of 
my crying- shouting- yelling or calling His names., Does He actually 
know that I cry for Him? I don't know. KaNNan appeared in North MathurA 
to remove the burden of the Earth. Such Maayavan- Mischievous Chief- 
KaNNan- What is His plan now on me?

10. For saving and protecting the bhakthAs, You appeared in this world 
like an ordinary being (and still unbounded by KarmAs) with Your Divya 
mangaLa ThirumEni and performed wonders in Your various avataars! Oh 
MaayavanE (Lord of Great wonders!) You saw through the Great 
kurukshEthra battle so effortlessly! Even though You such Sowlabhyan- 
and appeared as cowherd boy in KrishNAvataar- appeared as an ordinary 
man in Ramavataar- but You ARE the same One who fills in YOUR ENTIRETY 
everywhere be it Pancha bhUthAs- be it beings- be it non-beings- 
chit-achit- what not- whatever- You exist in everything as antharyaami- 
YOU ARE SARVESHWARAN. You are existing like the Ghee in Milk (Dearest 
Sisters and Brothers, Ghee in Milk- We can NOT see. But it is there; It 
requires first fermentation / transformation process (with a little bit 
of Curd- AchArya upadEsam), then it requires to be churned repeatedly - 
uttering Thirumanthram- dvayam- following nitya karmAnushtaanangaL to 
the fullest level with interest, similar to the persistent- constant 
efforts of churning at a correct climatic condition/ temperature (else 
butter will melt) - at a correct involvement and conducive mental 
condition- then boiling and melting the butter for a long time to get 
Ghee- similar to the continuous melting ourselves on Emperumaan's 
GuNAdhisayams (wonderful GuNAs)- to get the Ghee - to get to Emperumaan 
 -the antharyaami). Where will I see that SarvEshwaran? When? (To see You 
at Paramapadham I need to get rid of sarIra sambhandham; It is NOT 
avataar time also; archaavataar- when I think- it is NOT possible for me 
to be blessed- I need to Go there; antharyaamithvam- Not visible- Ghee 
in Milk! Then- How will I ever see Him? Will I perish without seeing Him 
at all?

11. Sri SadagOpar of Thirukkurugoor involved himself in Emperumaan, 
asking "when will I see Emperumaan, the One who wears Thulasi maalai 
(Garland)", composed 1000 pAsurams on Him. Those who read these ten out 
of 1000, will be blessed with Greatest Bliss of enjoying the GuNAs of 
Emperumaan at all times (during days- when they read, recite, hear about 
Him and nights- even in their dreams!)

NammAzhwAr ThiruvadigaLE saraNam


Ram Ram

With Best Regards

NarayaNa dAsan madhavakkannan


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