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Thiruvaaymozhi 7.7-His Beauty torments me and is killing me!

From: Madhavakkannan V (srivaishnavan_at_hotmail.com)
Date: Thu Jul 02 1998 - 00:46:42 PDT

SrI:

Dearest Sisters and Brothers,

In the last ten AzhwAr longed and yearned for seeing the Most Beautiful 
exquisitely beautiful form of Emperumaan and had an urgent dvarai to see 
His form. He even, out of his longing for His Physical Body, extended 
his hands to hug Him tightly. When AzhwAr finds Him NOT present there, 
he gets into the "Piraatti bhAvam- NayikA bhavam" and suffers from 
severe pangs of separation. Here, in this ten she explains Emperumaan's 
Divya Sowndharyam and regrets and laments that she is NOT able to join 
Him. She also narrates that His Divine Beauty has become yaman (cause 
for her dying). In this Thiruvaaymozhi, AzhwAr's love and frustrations 
due to Emperumaan's beauty, are narrated equally and in AzhwAr's lovely 
style.

1. Oh my dear friends and my ammA! Those large Lotus eyes of Blue hued 
Ocean colour KaNNan are bent upon drinking the lives of poor foolish 
young innocent girls and are like Yama for them. May be there are two 
yamans (in the form of His two lovely eyes!). He really KILLS them with 
His eyes and His looks. Whenever and wherever you see His eyes, His eyes 
are always like the fresh just bloomed Red Lotus flowers. His attractive 
look alone is enough to kill me and torment me! I am mad after that eyes 
and His sight; What can I do? 

2. Oh Mothers! You talk about me and let others also know of my pitiable 
suffering state; that makes me more sad and more hurt. What is the use 
of your such talking about me? KaNNan- The One who stole and ate the 
butter that was just churned and was still warm- the Butter thief- His 
lovely, sharp, creeper like nose- that beauty has allured me. His sharp, 
long nose, is a streamlined creeper (of kaRpakaa) like beauty. That 
sight of "lovely" great sharp pristine nose has entered into my heart 
and lit a jyOthi in me. That jYothi aggravates my Viraha thaapam and 
enhances its lustre thereby troubling me furthermore with more strength.
 
3. Emperumaan's ThirumEnI (Divine Body of Suddha satvam) is a blue hued 
dark cloud like colour. (He is neela mEgha shyaamaLan). His red lips are 
so reddish in colour like the bimbhA fruit. When we look at His lips, 
they remind us the slices of sweet tastiest fruit. Does it look like a 
fruit to me? Or have they come in such a cute round, fruit like form to 
completely arrest me with its beauty? In order to avoid such a 
(suffering) troubling by looking at those lovely lips, I try to see 
somewhere else. But wherever I see, whichever direction it is, those 
lips appear in front of my eyes, only with a view to torturing me! I 
simply can Not escape the lure of His Beautiful mouth. (AzhwAr's 
anubhavam is so lovely!) (kaRpooram naaRumO? Kamalappoo naaRumO? Un 
thiruppavaLach chevvaay thaan thitthirukkumO? says Sri AndAL- Does that 
smell so fragrantly like the Camphor or like the Lotus? Does that Red 
Coral lipped mouth taste sweet? Do you know whom does she ask? She asks 
the Sanghu (Divine Conch), since that has tasted His sweet red lips, 
when He blows it.)
 
4. Bhagawaan KaNNan is the dearest father of Manamthan (Cupid).  I think 
His (KaNNan's) eyebrows are the dark bows that have come to suck the 
lives of women, with its tremendous beauty. Or are they the bows of 
Manmathan? (in order to entice the women?). Wherever I look, those brows 
are bent upon killing me with their beauty! What can I do? Those 
eyebrows run so curved above those eyes that I suffer terribly (longing 
for Him to a great extent).
 
5. KaNNan- The One who lifted the Govardhana mountain like an umbrella- 
His smile- What a beauty that smile IS! His "punsirippu" (smile) is like 
a permanent lustrous whitish lightning. Or is it a group of beautiful 
pearls, that have come to kill me? Oh Mothers! I don't know what to do. 
When His such a sweet smile kills so terribly, is there any other place 
that I can hide from that? He stays everywhere (and kills me with that 
smile.) (Dearest Sisters and Brothers, The smile actually is a beauty. 
You look at anyone when he or she smiles. It is beautiful to look at. 
More so, when the Beauty itself smiles. I always used to imagine and 
enjoy Kutti KaNNan, (about two year and half old) who walks with almost 
no dress, except that lovely Gold araignAN, and a small metallic piece 
tied to it which hides "it". He runs, rolls on the roads (with His 
friends), steals and eats butter, again plays on the streets, with the 
result the entire body is full of dust, butter, sticky, dirt. 
"kaaNaperidhum uvakkum"- A great sight to see and enjoy. When YasOdhA 
sees Him, she comes with such an anger and fire in her eyes, that she is 
definitely going to beat Him. Our Dearest Kutti, can fool anyone. He 
just looks at her and SMILES. HER HEART MELTS AND ALL HER ANGER HAS GONE 
AWAY! SHE HUGS HIM AND LIFTS HIM IN HER HANDS AND KISSES HIM AND HIS 
BEAUTIFUL DIRTY THIRUMENI, SIMPLY ENJOYING THE SMILING FACE. Swami 
Desikan in his Bhagavdhyaana Sophaanam, Sloka 8, "saabhipraaya smitha 
vikasitham…." says that Lord's smile understands the earlier zigs and 
zags of Prapanna and does not reveal the depth of apachaarams of 
prapannas. He understands us and understandably smiles and protects us, 
in spite of our enormous great sins, simply because we have just 
surrendered to Him, that too pretend surrendering to Him, which too 
happens in us with His mercy. The smile lights up His face like a fully 
blossomed Lotus (smitha vikasitham))

6. Emperumaan- the One who has as His bed, the AdhisEshan- His 
"kundalangaL" (the ear studs?) in His ears can attract anyone with its 
shining Beauty, adorning His long, lovely, tender leaf-like ears. They 
are the ones that torment the women folks. Where is their asylum for 
such pitiable women who get allured by Emperumaan's beauties? The asurAs 
and rAkshasAs get killed by seeing such beautiful ears! (by not being 
able to bear His shining lustre) and women, by not being able to bear 
the sight of such Beautiful ears, get troubled by those ears. The ears 
simply kill them with their beauties. 

7. Oh Mothers! I do not know the way to describe the way how His 
Divinely Beautiful "crescent like forehead makes me suffer! His four 
shoulders, His Most beautiful Face (Thirumukham) are so cute. His face 
is like the ashtami chandran (moon on ashtami day). Or is His face a 
poisonous beautiful leaf? His Beauty is extremely strong to torment me 
terribly and captures my jIvan completely. (kambhanaattazhwAn, Tamil 
Poet, writes about Rama when He walks in the forest along with SitA and 
Lakshmana: "maiyO? MaragadhamO? MaRikadalO? mazhaimigilO? AiyO ivan 
azhagenna azhiyaa azhagudaiyaan.." meaning: Is He dark "mai"? (and black 
collyerium for decorating eyes). Is He Maragadham? (The Costly Valuable 
Blue Emerald stone - neela maNikkakal). Kambhan still was not satisfied. 
He feels he is NOT doing justice. So he says: maRikadalO? Is He the Blue 
Ocean? (to compare His colour and the guNA- Ocean colour and ocean of 
mercy . But he is still Not happy because the sea is salty and is NOT 
drinkable. But the Lord is Aaraavamudhan. Insatiable nectarine drink is 
He. So He ends : MazhaimugilO-the Dark clouds? That can be compared to 
His colour as well as His "mercy" that rains on His bhakthAs. Still some 
hitch in Kambhan's mind. He says: I give up. Words do not come to my 
rescue. AiYo! What a Beauty is He! He is eternal Beauty! )

8. (in all previous pAsurams, AzhwAr was caught by the individual attack 
of each part- Now all jointly attack our poor AzhwAr. He is trapped!- He 
is so fortunate that Emperumaan's Beauty chases him!). The eyes- that 
has the ornament as its own Beauty- The creeper like sharp nose, The Red 
coral lips, The eye b®ows, The milky white teeth which have got their 
brightness and shine as their ornaments, The tender leaf like ears, the 
moon like face, - They all have formed an alliance and jointly combine 
to form a Divya MangaLa Divinely exquisitely Beautiful form in His face 
and that face has become a jYOthi mandalam, which houses everything in 
it. Such a Beautiful face, is causing me enormous sufferings and viraha 
thaapam and literally kills me! 

9. Oh Mothers! Look at His long dark hair on His Head! What a Beauty 
that also is! Looks like That has been made of the darkness, as its 
strands. His dark hair is like the Darkness that was spread everywhere 
during Cosmic cycle end (when even the Sun was Not there) and it appears 
that the darkest essence of such darkness has become His hair! Whatever 
one attempts to compare the darkness and the beauty of His hair, it is 
STILL NOT adequate. His hair has got the Divine fragrance of the 
Thirutthuzhaay! (that adorns His Head always!). That fragrance is the 
One that lured me, mothers! That is the one which has robbed my heart! 
Do you all know that? Without knowing the plight of my sufferings (and 
the capacity or strength of His Beautiful Dark hair which kills me), you 
all are talking all sorts of things about me and scold me. Why?

10. Oh Mothers! You all are scolding me "why are you standing at the 
entrance, Why are you standing here? Why there?" and are abusing me? 
What can I do for that? My heart had already been lost to Emperumaan , 
The Most lustrous, shining form of all three worlds! After loosing 
myself to Him, how do you all think of getting me back, at all? 
(impossible!)

11. Even BrahmA, Sivan, Indran all devAs, (who can not be seen by 
ordinary people (like us)), can NOT aspire to see with their eyes, Sri 
krishnan. About Him, Sri SadagOpar of Thirukkurugoor, has composed 1000 
pAsurams and those who read these ten (out of 1000) will JOIN NityasUris 
at Sri Vaikuntam and ENJOY EMPERUMAAN ETERNALLY FOR EVER AND EVER.

NammAzhwAr ThiruvadiagaLE SaraNam

Ram Ram

With Best Regards

NarayaNa dAsan madhavakkannan


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