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Re: Digest bhakti.v002.n054

From the Bhakti List Archives

N Krishnamachari • January 18, 1997 


+                           SrI:
+                  SrI SrInivAsa parabrahmaNe nama:
+ aazhvaar thiruvadigaLE SaraNam; emberumaanaar thiruvadigaLE SaraNam

Dear Fellow Members:
I just joined the group a week back or so when all the heated discussion was
going on on Bhagavata Apachara etc.  I sensed that part of the reason for the
"heat" of the discussion might have arisen from the inherent (though
unintentional) feeling that as the writer wrote the article(s), they felt 
strongly about their position, which meant they felt strongly negative about
another member's position.  I was thinking aloud on how we normally deal with
similar situations if we disagree with a fellow-member of our group in our
professional work place.  I have been in professional life for a relatively
long time, and have been one of those accused of being blunt and abrupt.
Over the years, I have softened somewhat, and am beginning to realize that 
I achieve better results if I couch my disagreement in words that are not
direct, but still make the point.

It just occurred to me that one way we can all learn from each other without
necessarily taking thw position of "you are wrong, I am right" or
similar approach, is to intentionally word our messages as if we are writing
these to our fellow-workers in our offices when we transact office business.
In general, to keep good relations in our offices, we try to avoid openly
taking the position that the other persons is "wrong" even when such is the
case, but generally couch our words in polite ways such as "I believe the
explanation may be something else", etc.  Sure there are those who may think this
is close to intetionally lying, dishonesty, etc., but the bottom line is
to keep working relations going smoothly to optimize the group's output in
the long run, not hurting anyone even unintentionally through our words (which
I believe may even be consistent with our Sri Vaishnavite beliefs, even
though I don't have any documented basis for this statement) etc.


One way I have found useful in my priofessional life is to read and re-read
what I write a couple of times, and edit it with some of the above objectives
in mind.  Of course this takes time, but I achieve some of my objectives in
communication better by putting in this additional time. 

If this is a general concept acceptable to the group, then may be the group can
accept on a set of general guidelines on how to word their messages so that 
the learning experience of the group is maximized, without compromising the
right to share views without inhibition, as long as an attempt is made not to
sound authoritative.  May be this is easier said than done for some one like
me who knows nothing, and has no formal or informal education in Sri
Vaishnavism or other branches of religion, and may be it is difficult for those of our
members who really know a lot, but I just thought an approach to our 
fellow-members
as if they are all members of a group similar to that at our work place may be
a good model to keep in mind.  

If I sound like I am advising our fellow members, this was not my intent.  I
just wanted share some thoughts on how we can improve on the excellent
communication that is taking place among the Bhakti group members.

Please accept my apologies if I have said overstepped my bounds out of my
ignorance.

Sincerely,

Narasimhan Krishnamachari

+         SrImate rAmAnujAya nama: