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Re:Deception

From the Bhakti List Archives

Tatachar • January 26, 1996 


John Grimes said:
@@@@@Specifically, why did Ramanuja adopt a strategem and tell Rakshambal
that her father required her services at the impending marriage of her
younger sister. Then, once she had left, Ramanuja becomes a sannyasin.
Without spelling out at this time all the specific objections to such a
practise, can anyone give any scriptural injunctions to sanctify such a
move?@@@@@

The way Ramanuja acted,  was 
practical,  pragmatic and, perhaps has some  backing of the Scriptures.

Part I:  Why it was upto Ramanuja to call it off?

Ramanuja's wife was too traditional and would not have
walked out of the marriage. She  would have tried to work it out (rather
enforce her views strongly and vehemently on Ramanuja).
Both had their right points. It is just so that they were
not made for each other. She was tradition bound, in  
comparison,  Ramanuja was a rebel and was bound by his belief. He simply
could not cheat
himself any longer and continue in the marriage. Obviously
he had to take the step to do something that was un-traditional.

Part II: Why did he walk away from marriage the way he did?

I can not think of a better way either. He wanted her to be
in the safe protection of her parents who could soothe her and
comfort her, once the news breaks eventually. Consider here the Vedic saying:
Satyam brooyat priyam brooyat
 (should speak the truth which is pleasant) 
Na brooyat satyam apriyam 
(speak not that truth which is unpleasant).

Furthermore,
not involving her in the decision making (ignoring her) will
probably help her to ignore his abscence better!

-Tatachar