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Re: Seervarisai...

From: Vijay Triplicane (
Date: Thu Jan 18 1996 - 09:38:19 PST

> This is based on what Krish and Mani wrote about Seervarisai.
> Krish has raised a very fundamental issue
> >
> >
> >
> >" But I have personally paid a dowry to my
> >sister long ago when I found that the groom's father had
> >to find money for his daughters' marriages. But when will 
> >this stop?"
> Having born in a Vaishnava family and lived throughout in the North 
> India(where I feel the problem of dowry assumes even more serious 
> proportion), I would want to make the following comments.
> 1. All these years dowry was camouflaged as the part of the marriage 
> tradition, and no one questioned it. I would blame the younger generation 
> for having succumbed to the pressures of elders in this regard. If Young men 
> vehemently opposed to the idea of taking any "marital bribes", and stand by 
> it strongly, I see no reason why this horrible practice cannot be given up. 
> It is my very strong conviction that if  men stop treating women as a 
> commodity and this entire exercise as a trade, we can easily abolish this 
> during the time of present generation itself. Unfortunately we still have 
> not been able to give women due status, and very few women would openly 
> campaign against it.So the men of this age have to take the initiative. But 
> if the young men and women join hands, to overcome this problem, it would 
> soon cease to exist.

you are definitely right about this. There has to be some sort of a social
awareness atleast now. If many men volunteer not to get dowry, and if we
start looking at this practice disparagingly, then slowly it will die out.
(mella dowry ini saagum!!)
I wont take dowry.


> 2. Many of you might say, "that's easier said than done", and this is where 
> I want to turn to point made by Krish 
> "There are many young men and women
> >in our group. From the mailings one notes they plan
> >to go home and get married. I am sure most of them
> >are able to support themselves. Will they undertake
> >an oath for themselves not to demand dowry and even go
> >further to assist in the marriage expenses? "
> Why is it not possible? Its not the question of oath taking. There is lot 
> more to it. If I am well off(and even if I am not), WHY SHOULD THE GIRL'S 
> PARENTS BE SUBJECTED TO FINANCIAL PROBLEMS? Is it not enough that they are 
> giving their most prized possesion(their daughter) to me? 
> 3. I am sure many of you would shoot back to me, about what I would do. I 
> think whatever little Vaishnava sampradaya that I know off, my parents have 
> always taught to give respect to women, and to treat them equally.  I am 
> very confident that I would be able to very well stick to what I have just 
> written. 
> Hope I shall have some supporting mails from  YOUNG PEOPLE out there...
> Thank you
> Srinivas