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From: a c (ac_at_ampsc.com)
Date: Thu Aug 12 1999 - 12:26:25 PDT
Dear friends, It's difficult wading through your posts because I have to look for so many words in the Dictionary of Indian Philosophy. I feel like a blind man in the market place -- I can hear everyone talking but only have my hunger to guide me -- but don't feel sorry for me, because God has given me this hunger and I will sniff Him out like a dog would find his Master!!! Even this would be a proud and foolish boast if I thought anyone can find God on their own. Ahh... but I have a clever plan! Every bad kid knows that Mom is the best way to Dad. Sri Laksmi is everywhere about Her house and knows all about these things. She knows all the misdeeds and the disciplines but She can't help loving us no matter how bad we are or how undeserving. She can't help entreating Her Husband on our behalf -- I know this is the "weak spot" so I'm asking Sri Laksmi to make my prapatti for me. If mere acaryas can make prapatti for me, why not Laksmi? Dear Laksmi, They say only Visnu can grant moksha at the end of life to those who surrender to Him but You are Maha Lakshmi and I ask You to accept my prapatti (on your husband's behalf) -- even though I have nothing to surrender which isn't already Yours. How can I even surrender myself when I am re-created every moment? I am nothing at all apart from the continuous stream of Your Grace which sustains all things -- still, let me pretend to exist so I can surrender to You. Please play along with Your child's game and tell him directly that You accept his prapatti and will grant him moksha at the end of this life. We both know I don't deserve it -- so please forgive my mountain of sins and grant me moksha anyway! Because I am selfish and greedy and have such little faith, I even want You to reply. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ that's it -- my clever plan, my prapatti.