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Thiruvaaimozhi 5.5- aiyO! ivan azhagennai koLLai koNdathE!

From: Madhavakkannan V (srivaishnavan_at_hotmail.com)
Date: Wed Apr 22 1998 - 02:41:37 PDT

SrI:

Dearest Sisters and Brothers,

Past ten verses, AzhwAr suffered due to the 
L.......O......N....G......DARK.. chill night. When it dawned, she 
became slightly better and thinking of Emperumaanís sowndharya 
ThirumEni, she felt happy and excited. She also felt sad because of her 
inability to see His physical form with her eyes. Her mother and friends 
advise her not to hurt herself with such thoughts and that will not do 
good to her feminine nature. ParAnghusa nAyaki explains them in these 
ten verses about the beauty of Emperumaan at Thirukkurungudi and her 
falling love with such Divine form of Narayanan. 

1.  Oh mother! Donít you know my nature and present state of affairs? 
How can you get angry with me? Instead, should you not console me, who 
is remorse with tears after losing myself in the Divine Beauty of 
Thirukkurungudi Nambhi?. In fact, you all should get angry with that 
Most exquisite Beautiful form of Nambhi for haunting my mind with so 
much madness. You should appreciate me for falling in love with such 
Great Beauty. He is the Most precious treasure and wealth. When He 
stands so beautifully with sanghu and chakrA, How can I ever attempt to 
forget that beauty? What a BEAUTY is He! His Red Lotus Eyes are so 
Beautiful and graceful. His lips are so reddish like a red fruit 
(BimbhA- kovvaippazham). My mind has seen such beauties that He shows 
Himself to me; It will never leave my mind. My heart has surrendered to 
His beauty. What can I do?

2.  Oh mother! Please donít get angry with me. You will understand my 
state if you perceive the mind that has lost itself in love completely 
to Emperumaanís beauty. (Then, You will realise "Oh aiyO what all did we 
say to her and scold her?- says nampiLLai). After enjoying 
Thirukkurungudi nambhiís beauty, How can I forget Him? In His big body 
like the blue clouds, look at that lovely Golden upaveedham (pooNool, 
the sacred thread). The Most beautiful ornaments on His chest and the 
irremovable SrI Vathsam have all captured my heart totally. Those huge, 
Big, broad four shoulders are like the well grown kaRpaka tree. Wherever 
I see, whichever direction it may be, I see His beauty in front of my 
eyes and that arrests my mind.

3.  You are all getting wild with me for my state. Do you actually know 
why? I have lost myself completely after seeing Thirukkurungudi Nambhiís 
Most Gorgeous Beautiful form. He captures His bhaktAs with His Beauty 
and wins over His opponents with His weapons. The strongest bow, maze, 
sword, chakrA and sanghu have all appeared in front of my eyes and 
allured me. Not just that; They have even filled into my mind 
completely. 

4.  If I leave Nambhi, I will not be able to live; You all know that, 
mother. Even after seeing my tears continuously rolling down the cheeks, 
you get angry with me. How can I forget that Beauty of Thirukkurungudi 
Nambhi. What a ThirumEni azhaghu He possesses with that Most Fragrant 
ThuLsi on His Head! It has robbed my heart, ammA! That Golden yellow 
silk PeethAmbharam adorning His waist and the jewels there are just by 
my side only. What to do? Even though they are here, I am not able to 
hug them, ammA!

5.  This girl has been looking at that direction waiting for Emperumaan- 
Like that you all have been scolding me angrily. I have even offered my 
jIvan to Him, that Thirukkurungudi Nambhi, after seeing and falling for 
His Beauty. His lovely red mouth, like the red fruit, His long, 
beautiful eyebrows and those lovely red lotus eyes have stayed in my 
mind and have put me in this state, ammA!

6.  I have been longing to see Nambhi. But, My mother has determined NOT 
to let me see Him any more; else I will go further crazy after Him. 
After seeing and having enjoyed His Divine Beauty, His form has entered 
into my heart and has captured me. His long, large eyes, His long, 
sharp, nose like creeper, His dark bright ThirumEni, His four shoulders, 
have all filled my heart completely. Hence, there is no place to listen 
and keep my motherís word.

7.  She is giving such a name to this family, which no one else can 
remove- Like that my mother says and does not even let me see Him 
(Thirukkurungudi Nambhi). After seeing the most Glorious, Most Beautiful 
form of Thirukkurungudi Nambhi, the flood of His Beauty has filled my 
mind and has even entered into my heart and filled entirely brimful. The 
way He shows Himself with the Sanghu and ChakrA in His hands is the 
totality of Beauty and fills me COMPLETELY. (Here: The mother of 
Parangusha nayaki is reported to have told that her daughter is 
tarnishing the name by going to see Thirukkurungudi Nambhi. It is 
interpreted by NampiLLai as "We should eagerly look forward to 
Emperumaanís mercy and grace / dayA to take us to His Lotus Feet; 
Instead, AzhwAr takes personal efforts to go to Him, which is what her 
mother is against and says tarnishing the family tradition of 
anticipating eagerly for Emperumaanís grace. Same concept of NirhEthuka 
kataaksham"- There is also a story: ANdAL, wife of kUratthAzhwAn, showed 
Paraasar Bhattar and Vyasar to kUrEsar and said "they have attained 
marriageable age; why are you still silent about them?". KUrEsar said, 
"If that is so, ask Emperumaan.". he took them to PerumAL and stood 
there. PerumAl asks "It appears you are going to tell, tell me, 
kUrEsarE!". KUresar said "They have reached marriageable age". PerumAL 
replied "we will arrange for their weddings and bring the perfect match 
for them.". And He did arrange and conduct the weddings. So it is all 
His Kataaksham)

8.  You, mothers are scolding me saying that I have been suffering and 
continuously crying with my hands covering my soft and tender face, 
unable to bear the pangs of separation from Him. After seeing such 
MARVELLOUS BEAUTY at Thirukkurungudi, His shining Divine form and the 
Divya tEjas is troubling me literally. His Red lotus like eyes, that 
lovely hip, small waist, that square shoulders and beautiful ThirumEni 
(body), those shoulders where His long, curly hairs play, - they all 
have completely captured me. (Here the beauty of first line- Even her 
hands make that soft face get hurt. The face is meant to be touched only 
by her Lordí hands; that alone will make her face enjoy; rest will only 
make the face suffer. Inner meaning as told by NampiLLai: The athman 
enjoys only ParamAthmAís take over. Nothing else will satisfy the 
jIvAthmA. They all only hurt the jIvAthmA)

9.  You have grown so far without showing yourself to others as a 
complete vilakshaNam for a good, chaste lady; Now you have come in front 
of every body else without bothering about it- Like that, mothers, you 
have been scolding me. What can I do? What else can I do after seeing 
Nambhiís beauty; The kireetam (crown) so nicely placed on His Head, The 
Personification of Beauty has entered into my mind completely and 
refuses to go out. He ALONE is the sum total of excellent taste of 
sugarcane juice, milk and nectar. Whatever measures I take to forget 
Him, He keeps staying in my mind and is not leaving. It is completely my 
DISBILITY AND BEYOND MY CONTROL. Please do not scold me like that. 

10.  Lovers, if separated, as days pass by, forget each other. (Small 
absence enhances love; long absences extinguish it) But, for me, it is 
the other way; As seconds tick, the love for Him expands exponentially 
and I languish more and more. No body else can get to know the Beauty of 
Thirukkurungudi Nambhi that has filled my mind so completely. Isnít His 
jyOthiswarUpam unmatched, unparalleled one? Those NityasUris have all 
assembled in Groups to pay obeisance to Him. Among that flood of His 
Beauty, He stands as a personification of Greatest shining, most 
enjoyable Form. Whatever way, whoever he is, one can NOT attempt to know 
Him with their own efforts. Hence, I JUST SIMPLY CAN NOT forget His 
Form, since I have been blessed by his grace to enjoy His Beauty. In as 
much as I can NEVER forget His Beauty, others can NEVER get to know 
that. (Had they known that Beauty, they would have agreed with me)

11.  Emperumaan is the SarvEshwaran, who can NOT be simply understood by 
someoneís own efforts. (He has to be known only by His mercy on us).  
Sri Sadagopar has composed 1000 Pasurams as flowers and offered them to 
that SarvEshwaran. Those who read these ten out of those 1000, will be 
SrI VaishNavas on this earth. (means, even if they are in samsaaric 
ocean, they are SrI VaishNavas and are considered equal to NityasUris.)

AzhwAr thiruvadigaLE saraNam
             


Ram Ram

With Best Regards

NarayaNa dAsan madhavakkannan


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