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Thiruvaaimozhi 5.4- The whole world is sleeping peacefully except ME!

From: Madhavakkannan V (srivaishnavan_at_hotmail.com)
Date: Mon Apr 20 1998 - 16:54:15 PDT

SrI:

Dearest Sisters and Brothers,

In the last ten, AzhwAr was so much obsessed with KaNNan and wished to 
perform madal oordhal immediately; Due to her (parAngusha nAyakiís) 
suffering, she exerted herself and was so tired; The dusk also set in. 
It became dark. Hence, she had to postpone her performance of madal 
oordhal. 

AzhwAr describes MOST EXCELLENTLY the languishing suffering of the 
nayaki due to her being away from her beloved Lord for so long; More so, 
during nights, any disease gets aggravated. IT IS A SUPERB RENDERING OF 
AZHWAR. 

1.  Everybody has slept. The ones who blamed me; the ones who talk good 
about me; the ones who gave me company- all sorts of people has gone to 
sleep. When everyone is so united in sleeping in this 
L......O......N.....G night, When, the whole world is filled with so 
much darkness, when the animals on land and in water have gone to sleep, 
there is no sound any where and it is so much deafening silence that 
kills me. The One, who saved the world during the Cosmic cycle is not 
coming now to protect me. The One who has the snake as His bed, is not 
coming now and is making me suffer in this night. I have committed so 
many greatest sins; is there any one who can save me? (No.) My getting 
saved- is it possible any more? No. (This Pasuram is our dearest SrI 
MaNiís favourite).

2.  Everywhere -it is pitch dark. It is darkness, totally incomparable. 
This night appears to be getting Longer and longer. This darkness spans 
everywhere- the deep sea, the vast earth, the sky- it occupies 
everywhere with huge ugliness. My KaNNan, who is like the fresh bloomed 
flower petals, has not yet come. The Ever helpful Lord, is not here to 
help me. Oh mind of the greatest sinner (i.e. me!), you  are also NOT 
there to provide me support and company (because you have gone to Him). 
aiyO! Who else can save me! (tvayi rakshati rakshakai kim anyai; tvayi 
cha arakshati rakshakai kim anyai- Swami Desikan says in 
Kaamaasikaashtakam- Oh NarasimhA! When You have decided to protect some 
one, where is the need to look for the protection from other Gods? And 
when You have decided NOT to save some one, who is capable of protecting 
that person?- Simple; But nettiyadi (hitting straight on the forehead) 
for those who are after other dEvathAs;)

3.  Oh Mind, without you, I can Not do any thing; Even you have deserted 
me and do not appear to be doing good to me; This long, vast dark, night 
appears to be lengthening more only and is not reducing. It keeps 
lengthening. Oh RamA! Like You went to save SitA Piraatti, why are You 
Not coming to help me? His Not helping me is due to my lots of paapams 
and I am born as a mahApaapi girl in this world. But I do not know how 
to die now.

4.  The bright Sun also has gone saying that he can not bear to see the 
sufferings of those who are born as females. (Excellent- It is still 
unfortunately manís world. The sufferings a female undergoes with so 
much patience and endurance is beyond description and words- NampiLLai 
writes that ladies always are supported by the male members; they are so 
soft and tender and can not bear the pangs of separation - Hence, they 
are the Greatest sufferers in this world and undergo more dukkham;- 
KavimaNi dEsika vinaayakam piLLai a, tamil poet wrote: moonRu 
bhuvanatthu poruL muRRum kodutthu EnRa vazhpaadu iyaRRidinum en Thaay 
oru naaL vaLarrthadhukku iyaiyaavE- " Even if one offers all the three 
worlds and worship his mother, even then, it will NOT BE EQUAL TO ONE 
DAY OF HER CARE AND BRINGING HIM UP- HATS OFF TO ALL SISTERS IN THIS 
GROUP.) Even Vaamanan has not come to save me. Who will now remove my 
sufferings?

5.  The mother and friends, who are to help me in such times of crisis 
are now sleeping throughout this long night without even bothering to 
know my state of sufferings. Okay, if they do not know or care to know; 
What about my KaNNa perumaan who has to save me? He also has not come. 
At least am I able to end my life? I am not able to do that either. I am 
just living for nameís sake. 

6.  The love disease has been chasing my mind without any interruption 
or gap and has been hurting me greatly. The long night appears like the 
end of the world and has literally engulfed the whole world and has even 
darkened my eyesight. Alas! The ever permanent, My maayavan, Emperumaan 
has not come to save me yet. In this state, there is none who can help 
me but Him.

7.  It is His duty to protect me and save me; Even if He does not come, 
who else will come to save me? This lengthening night, this cold night 
sees the snow drops everywhere. Oh What can I do? In such a might, the 
Omni present Emperumaan, with His white Conch and Strong ChakrA, has not 
yet appeared. What amount of sins I must have committed for that Most 
Merciful Lord even NOT to save  me? Oh Gods! The Ones who do not wink 
your eyes! You all are awake, but have not helped me (by recommending my 
case to the Lord). I am literally crippled and helpless.

8.  Oh Gods! What can I do? This long night literally hurts my body and 
thins me down, while the chill breeze enters even my bone. In spite of 
my terrible sufferings, He has not come to me. The breeze that others 
enjoy is literally burning me (causing more viragha thaapam) like the 
fire. 

9.  This long night, with dense darkness, with chill breeze and snow 
droplets everywhere, is burning my body like fire. When will there be 
light and dawn? When will the bright Sun appear in the East? The Red 
Lotus eyed Lord, My Most Beautiful KaNNan has also NOT come; My mind has 
been literally weeping thinking of Him. Who else will cure my mindís 
sorrows?

10.  In this dark, long, chill night, Oh my Goodness! There is none to 
help me! The whole world is simply NOT bothered about my sufferings. 
(AzhwArís anubhavam is simply superb; one can really feel this long, 
night and loneliness when we suffer with some pain or disease; every 
body else sleeps; except the patient.- it is really pathetic. More so, 
when you are love sick; Most so, when you are love sick with the Chief 
Himself!). No one sympathises with me; He came and appeared in front of 
mahAbhali! But He has NOT appeared in front of me yet. Oh No! The whole 
world is sleeping!

11.  The One who is having His yOgha nithrA on the AdhisEshan,  
Emperumaan KaNNan has been sung by SrI SadagOpar in his 1000 pAsurams of 
Thiruvaaimozhi. Out of those 1000, those who read these ten- How can 
they NOT reach SrI Vaikuntam when they leave from their bodies? (They 
will definitely reach and will NOT stay here for any more births to talk 
about AzhwArís sufferings).

AzhwAr thiruvadigaLe saraNam
 


Ram Ram

With Best Regards

NarayaNa dAsan madhavakkannan


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