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Thiruvaaimozhi 5.3- I am NOT bothered about what people talk!

From: Madhavakkannan V (srivaishnavan_at_hotmail.com)
Date: Sat Apr 18 1998 - 20:28:26 PDT

SrI:

Dearest Sisters and brothers, 

AzhwAr gets into the nayikA bhAvam as ParAnghusa Nayaki and is not able 
to endure the pangs of separation. She suffers so much and has been 
waiting for Emperumaan so long that she has decided to perform "madal 
oordhal". It is told that in earlier days of Tamil nadu, only males who 
languish to join their beloved ones, ultimately perform this "madal 
oordhal". Madal oordhal is an act of the male lover suffering with the 
pangs of separation, keeps the drawing or the picture of his beloved in 
his hand, and without taking his eyes off that picture, he climbs the 
madal (horse like structure) made of palm (panai) tree strips, and 
loiters in the streets in such shameful acts due to madness with love 
for his beloved. The king comes to know of that act and arranges to 
bring his beloved to the male lover. Here, AzhwAr as a lady, performs 
the same madal oordhal due to her separation and her suffering. It is 
because her pangs have crossed all endurance and threshold. She can not 
suffer any more. It is an excellent set and stupendous anubhavam. A 
great pAsurams and outpourings from NammAzhwAr. 

1. Oh my dear thOzhI! (Girl friend!) Emperumaan is of the Purest jyOthi 
swarUpan and with no blemishes; The Red Coral mouthed Lord is like a 
Huge mountain of Emerald stone. He is the personification of complete, 
total most Auspicious attributes (kalyANa guNAs); I have fallen in love 
with such Greatest Lord of mine and hence, it appears my intellect has 
gone away from me; (I can not think sense any more). How long can I 
continue to suffer like this with my love never succeeding? The beauty 
has withered from my body. I can hear people talking about my "madal 
oordhal". What if they talk? I am not bothered any more. (means; since, 
I am His bhaktA, only if BhAgawathAls talk, that matters to me- other 
people - let them talk any thing- it is immaterial.)

2.  Oh friend! Emperumaan has stolen my youth and beauty. He has spoiled 
my "naaNam" (natural shyness) and made me talk so shamelessly about my 
situation. He has allured me with His Most beautiful red lotus eyes. My 
beautiful brown mango complexion also has become pale due to my 
sufferings. My large, black beautiful eyes also have lost their sparkles 
and have become lifeless. 

3.  The sakatAsuran, who came in disguise, as a cart wheel to kill the 
little cute KaNNan was kicked so heavily by the little Lotus feet of 
KaNNan that the asuran rolled , got powdered and killed. The rAkshasi, 
bhUthanai, who came to kill the infant KaNNan with her poisonous breast 
milk, was sucked so much by the little red coral lips of kutti KaNNan 
that her entire life was sucked by KaNNan. Such Greatest KaNNan, who has 
done so many such wonders, has captured me with His Divine Beauty. He 
has changed my mind, state and my body. Whether I walk, sit, stand, go 
or come- I talk about Him only. Oh my dearest close friend! What can I 
do even if you ask me to take care what people talk about me? I have 
crossed all that, dear. It is beyond my control any more.

4.  Oh my dearest friend! In the field of my mind, the paddy of my 
desire for KaNNan was sowed. What people talked about me became the 
nutrients for the seed to grow. The consoling kind words of my mother 
have been the water for the growth. Now, KaNNan has made it grow like 
the vast big ocean. Such a KaNNan- do you think He will belittle Himself 
by not coming to my rescue now? He is not that cruel. 

5.  Oh narrow waisted dear friend of mine! KaNNan, the Thirumaal, Who 
measured the entire universe in His one step, I do not know whether He 
is kind or unkind. He has captured and stolen my heart. I can never 
forget Him any more. You are saying that my mother also hates me now due 
to my madness of love with KaNNan. What can I do? When I can not listen 
to even my words, do you think will I be able to listen to my mother's?

6.  Oh my dearest friends! The Chief of NitysUris, the king of Dwarakai, 
KaNNan, MaNivaNNan, VasudEvan, has trapped me in His net. There is 
nothing that my mom can do; There is no use of paying attention to what 
people talk about me; It is not useful any more for you to advise me out 
of your love for me; Leave that; I am a gone case.

7.  Oh Broad hipped beautiful friend! Emperumaan has swept me by 
throwing His net along with His kalyANa guNAs and entrapped me. He has 
called my good mind also to His side with His sanghu shabdham; (even 
though he is so high above and beyond reach, still He is so beautiful to 
look at with His sanghu in His hand). He has captivated me with His 
Divine beautiful form with the ChakrA in His hand. I long to fall down 
at His Most Beautiful Lotus Feet. With "our" eyes incessantly drinking 
His Divine exquisite Beauty, will I not bow down to Him with my head? 
(Those people, who talk all sorts of nonsense about Him, will keep their 
mouths shut; for that upakaram (help) of Emperumaan, I will surely bow 
down to Him). (Here AzhwAr says, "our eyes" means "He will come in front 
of us, and you and I will see Him with our eyes.") 

8.  Oh dearest Friend of mine! Emperumaan KaNNan sucked bhUtanai's life 
along with her breast milk, when she came in the disguise of a mother to 
breast feed infant KaNNan with her poisonous milk. He kicked the 
sakatAsuarn and killed him, too. He crawled with the ural (grinder) in 
between the marudha maram (trees) and made those yamaLaarjunargaL fall 
down. KaNNan killed the bhagAsuran who came in the form of bird by 
splitting its beak. He killed the elephant asurA called kuvalayaapeetam. 
Such Greatest Lord of mine, My Emperumaan KaNNan has attracted me with 
those haunting red coral lips and the milk white teeth, that eamanates 
such a radiant sweet smile. About such a Lord, these people are calling 
"He has nirguNan". To disprove them, when will I join Him and make them 
ashamed of what they say now?

9.  Oh my dear friend! Emperumaan has captured my beauty, my shyness 
(naaNam) and has even called my mind and has taken it. The Lord, who is 
there at the Highest Supreme most Parama Padham, who is the Chief of 
DevAs is not coming to save me; Now I am going to talk bad about Him; I 
will go around telling that He has deserted me and left me. I will let 
the whole world know that He has deserted me. Can someone stop me? No. I 
have become disobedient, stubborn and arrogant. I will perform "madal 
oordhal".

10.  I will perform madal oordhal in all streets, everywhere; Whatever 
people talk, Whatever other ladies talk with their tongues, I simply do 
not care. The whole world will be dumbfounded my madal oordhal. At least 
by doing that, I will get and adorn my head with the ThuLasi that was 
won by KaNNan and catch hold of the Lord of mine, who has ChakrA in His 
most beautiful hand.

11.  SrI SadagOpar has sing 1000 Pasurams in andhaadhi style in praise 
of KaNNan, who is of blue colour like that of big noisy Ocean. Out of 
those 1000, the readers of these ten pAsurams or their meanings, will 
have their respective places (where they stay) as SrIvaikuntam. I.e. He, 
Emperumaan will come and stay wherever they are and He will stay there 
permanently as if it is Parama Padham. 

AzhwAr ThiruvadigaLE saraNam              


Ram Ram

With Best Regards

NarayaNa dAsan madhavakkannan


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